Handling Father’s Day As a Single Mother

When the month of June finally rolled around, the first thing I thought of was my amazing sister’s upcoming birthday on the 6th;what I would get her, how we would celebrate, and which kind of cake I would make. Then I basked in the fantastic thought of winter term classes coming to an end and having the next few months “off” to enjoy the rare sunny days with Taylor. That’s when the commercials of happy children with their fathers infiltrated my television; crap, it’s also the month for Father’s Day.

Some single moms have great relationships with their co-baby-maker, which makes it easier to celebrate those types of days. I, on the other hand, am not one of those single moms and thankfully, he is not a part of our lives. To be honest, it’s a huge blessing that he is not. Taylor and I have grown into such a fun, loving, and happy little family over these past couple of years, I wouldn’t change a thing (except maybe winning the lotto at some point). Last year around this time I didn’t have much to worry about in regards to Father’s Day; T was still trying to figure out how to sit-up, let alone have a realization that she doesn’t have a father figure in her life. But now that she’s comprehending more and more, I’ve been asking myself: how do I deal with Father’s Day as she gets older? Do I ignore it completely (that seems a little immature)? Do I make it all about me (still immature)? Or…should we be able to talk openly about it, but handle it as just a normal day (that sounds better)?

I was causally reading an article about someone who was nearing 40, hadn’t found a steady man in her life, and had chosen to be artificially inseminated. When her daughter grew older, she was asked, “Mommy, do I have a daddy?”, and she answered, “No, but you have a mommy, a grandma, and two dogs.” I really liked her response, it was positive but direct. I have no clue what the future brings, so I’m not sure what she will be curious about, but while tailoring it to her age, I want to be able to tell her the truth: someone helped make you, but mommy is here to love you and help you grow. Most of society feels that we need the white-picket-fence mentality to have a happy family. But as Rosie O’Donnell puts it as a title for her documentary…A Family, Is a Family, Is a Family. Children need to be surrounded by people who love them and Taylor has just that: a Mommy who loves her more than anything in this entire world, a Grammy who would drop anything she was doing just to come snuggle her, three incredible biological aunties, one very special auntie Franki, and her cat Olie. I’m sure at some point I’ll meet a man who surpasses my standards and who can be an amazing male influence for Taylor…and when I get to that point it’ll be a whole other ballgame. But until then, Taylor and I are going to celebrate that day together as our own perfect little family.

{Stephanie}

Tags: a family is a family is a family, dealing with father's day, motherhood, single mom, surviving father's day as a single mom