This list is not your typical do’s and don’ts of pregnancy list. I’m not here to tell you not to eat fish high in mercury, to not go on a roller coaster at Six Flags or not to get your arm fully tattooed. I’m talking about the little things that happen every day that can be both unexpectedly hilarious, maddening and shocking. Things that I never would have thought twice about pre-pregnancy.
Take a look at my list of things that should never be attempted (or at least, that I attempted and will never do while pregnant again) during pregnancy.
Franki’s List of Don’ts During Pregnancy
1. Never watch The Bucket List, March of the Penguins, or anything else including fuzzy and adorable animals, babies, or touching moments. You will sob. Uncontrollably.
2. Never try marmite for the first time. Just. Don’t.
3. Do not attempt to squeeze into jeggings or non-maternity leggings or any other type of highly tight pants. I did this — it was not a pretty sight.
4. If you have other children, don’t go through their infant/baby pictures and reminisce about how tiny, innocent and completely dependent on you they were. I also did this. I had also just put on my make-up. Make-up = ruined.
5. Don’t lay down on the floor and expect to get back up easily. This is already happening and I’m just over 18 weeks — doesn’t bode well for my future.
6. Do not give in to your spicy food cravings by scarfing down spicy kung pao noodles in 0.3 seconds. Hello, old friend heartburn!
7. See that pre-pregnancy shirt that looks like it could possibly fit? It probably doesn’t. Don’t do it. I got a shirt stuck half on half off the other day. You know, with arms comically sticking up out of the sleeves. Unless you want your husband to laugh at you, I would avoid this.
And from our readers….
“Never get too busy to eat and scarf down six sausages very quickly….you will not be able to keep them down long.” — Carley Adams
Been there, not a pleasant experience.
“Don’t reminisce about your favorite dress to wear pre-pregnancy and try to try it on when you’re 8 months. You won’t be able to get it off.” — Andrea Armstrong
Fits nicely with number 7 on my list
What funny things have happened to you during pregnancy that you can add to the list?