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Read Aloud: 15 Minutes. Every Child. Every Parent. Every Day.

3 May

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Since Tatum was a baby, David and I have read a story (now that she’s older she gets three stories!) every night before bedtime. It has been a wonderful way to wind down in the evening, and to bond with our daughter. It opens conversation, it gets her imagination going, and she is learning. Even if we have had a rushed day and we’re getting Tatum to bed later than normal, she still gets a story or two before she falls asleep. The importance of parents reading to their children every day is immense, and that’s why I’m happy to say that Those Young Moms are now supporting the Read Aloud 15 Minutes organization.

Read Aloud is a non-profit organization that is working to make reading to children for fifteen minutes every day the new standard in child care. As their website reads, when every child is read aloud to for 15 minutes every day from birth, more children will be ready to learn when they enter kindergarten, more children will have the literacy skills needed to succeed in school, and more children will be prepared for a productive and meaningful life after school.

Read Aloud was founded in 2008, and since then has focused on spreading its message about the power of reading aloud. I was so thrilled when I was approached to help spread the word about this amazing cause, and hopefully by sharing Read Aloud on Those Young Moms, we will be able to reach other families who will also share Read Aloud’s important message. I have always been a big advocate for reading to your children every day. Literacy skills will open doors for your children, will help to prepare them for whichever career path they choose, and by reading to your children every night you will strengthen the parent-child bond that is so crucial.

Not only has Read Aloud shared their powerful message with the world, but it has also provided age-appropriate books for vulnerable families at twice yearly “reading parties” through their Big Box of Books program. More than 1,800 families have benefited from this effort.

Did you know that:

  • Children aged 2 to 3 who are read to several times a day do substantially better in kindergarten at the age of 4 and 5 than youngsters who are read to only a few times a week or less (National Longitudinal Survey of Children and Youth, Statistics Canada, 1996-1997).
  • Establishing a culture of learning encourages an exchange of ideas, enriches family relationships, and bolsters confidence and independent thinking.
  • For a child, the more time spent with a parent reading aloud increases his or her level of attachment, enhances a sense of security, and imparts the knowledge that their parent feels they are worthwhile people with whom to spend time (How to Raise a Reader, 1987).
  • Children raised in literate households are likely to enter grade one with several thousand hours of one to one pre-reading experience behind them (Literacy BC).

Even though there are endless benefits to reading aloud to our children, parents are increasingly spending less time reading to their children. It’s not solely based on economic background, it is society as a whole that has seen a decrease in children being read to from a young age. More than 40% of families don’t read aloud to their children every day. This number needs to change, so I strongly encourage all of you moms and dads to make reading aloud to your children for 15 minutes every day a priority. 15 minutes is such a small part of our day, and our little ones will greatly benefit from it.

Check out Read Aloud on Facebook and on Twitter!

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How do you find time to read aloud to your children every day? Do you need to make it more of a priority in your home?

{Franki}

Gentle Discipline Resources

19 Apr

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I am a big advocate for gentle discipline for children. But I am the first to admit that I struggle with gentle parenting all of the time. Having children can be an amazing, wonderful, and frustrating time. Just as they’ve finished one stage, they’re entering another and changing the game all over again. It can be difficult to remain calm when you are struggling to understand what’s happening with your child, and I have more than once lost my patience with Tatum when I was stressed out.

Having resources available (and support from your partner, friends and family!) is so important to be successful and to better understand how to parent your child in a way that benefits him/her. All of our children are so different and have different needs, and using a one-size-fits-all approach to discipline is not going to be effective in the long run. Using gentle discipline can directly address what your child specifically needs when they (and you!) are going through a rough time. I’ve rounded up my favourite resources for gentle/peaceful parenting that I’ve collected over the years in hopes that it helps and encourages parents to continue striving to be the best parents you can be for your little ones — but realize that we are all human, and we all make mistakes. Especially when we have a toddler screaming in our ear ;)

If you have any other resources to share, please leave them in the comments here or on our Facebook page!

Let’s Lasso The Moon – Lots of great information from gentle discipline, to family activities and more!

Hands Free Mama – This is an amazing site that highlights the importance of connecting with our children and families instead of being connected to cell phones/internet/etc. 24/7. Lots of great parenting information.

Rhythm of the Home - I follow Waldorf philosophies in our home, and it really is a gentle way to raise and enjoy your children. Rhythm of the Home has wonderful ideas for following a gentle rhythm based on Waldorf teachings in your home.

peaceful parenting – This website has been my go-to for many years now. Including amazing information on breastfeeding, circumcision, and gentle parenting, I am constantly going to this website to re-read articles I have in the past, to help other moms learn more about gentle parenting, and to encourage myself when I’m having a rough parenting day.

The Parenting Passageway - The tagline for this site reads “Peaceful Parenting for a Hectic World.” Some days we feel like we barely have time to inhale a sandwich and pee much less be connected, gentle parents to our children. These days, I find that life moves so quickly, and before I know it, the day is over and I haven’t had a chance to tell Tatum how I’m proud of her, or I’ve maybe snapped at her when I shouldn’t have. The Parenting Passageway has so much great information on slowing down, gently parenting and really listening to our children.

Aha! Parenting – This website has information ranging from pregnancy and birth to the teenage years! No matter what parenting stage you’re in, this site will have useful, effective information for how to better understand your child and how you can parent them to your best ability.

Raising Natural Kids – A great page that helps us to raise our children in the best environment possible to benefit their overall well-being.

Positive Parents - This has been another great website for me over the last little while. Their tagline reads “Parenting without blaming, shaming, yelling or hitting” and that is how I strive to parent Tatum. Great information!

Living Peacefully with Children – Awesome attachment parenting advice. Their page also has a list of resources you can look at to expand your gentle disciplining library!

Practice Positive Discipline – This is my go-to site for anything attachment parenting related. This site is home to Attachment Parenting International, a non-profit organization that supports parents in parenting their children as gently as possible. There’s so much information from breastfeeding and baby-wearing, to how to parent your teen effectively. Love this site!

Parenting is not an easy job. I find that using a band-aid method of parenting (time-outs, 1-2-3 magic, etc.) is not as effective as focusing on what the root of the problem is and working from there. I am not a parenting expert whatsoever (cookies for breakfast are ok, right? :) ), but I want to make sure Tatum grows up feeling secure, happy and loved. Disciplining in a more gentle way can make your home feel much more peaceful and relaxed, and can result in a happier family!

{Franki}

Losing Your Temper With Your Child

15 Apr

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David and I mostly identify with the attachment parenting style of parenting. I try not to label myself as a certain kind of parent, because I feel there are so many factors that make up how we parent our children and why we parent them the way they do, but if I had to give myself a label, I would most closely fall into that spectrum of parenting. Before I had Tatum, I had a very clear image of what I thought I would be like as a parent. I thought I would be utilizing time-outs, spanking, all of those things everyone talks about. But when I had Tatum it’s like my personal parenting light went on and guided me in a different direction. I am absolutely a different mother than I expected myself to be. For the most part, I understand more why children behave the way they behave, and as parents David and I try to be tolerant and understanding of that.

Tatum is going to be five in June, but she is still a very little person. Five years is not a long time on this earth. That is something that I truly believe in — our children are meant to be children, and they act as children do. They’re not trying to make our lives miserable or be “bad” (as much as it feels that way sometimes!) — they’re just acting the way they know how at the time being.  I try very hard not to lose my mind over little things like a room not being tidied up exactly when I ask or Tatum getting upset over us having to leave the house rather than playing with her ponies longer. But, having said that, parents are only human and it can be SO hard sometimes to remain the calm, peaceful parent you strive to be at all times. We all make mistakes, and we all snap for different reasons. I’ve definitely had my share of less-than-calm moments.

Take for example the other day when Tatum and I were rushing around trying to get ready to take her to school. I had woken up later than usual, so we were behind schedule. I laid Tatum’s clothes out for her and told her to get dressed while I finished fixing my hair. I came out a few minutes later, and she was still sitting on the couch in her pajamas. With my patience already being at a very low level, I yelled at her and in a huff put her clothes on, which in turn made her upset and start to cry. I remained irritated about the situation until we got to school and I had time to cool off. I looked back at my little girl and started thinking about the situation. Was it really that big of a deal? We may have been a few minutes late for preschool, it’s not like we were going to meet the Pope. Little things like these, in my eyes, are not worth blowing up over, yet I’ve done it several times before. I felt awful that I had treated her so harshly.

I dropped her off at school and gave her a big hug and a kiss. When I picked her up, we came home and talked about why I got upset, and I apologized to her. It wasn’t Tatum’s fault that I had woken up late and had to rush around to try to get us ready. I felt awful, and I knew that I needed to show Tatum that sometimes even parents make mistakes. The day went on as usual and all seemed well, but I still felt badly about how our morning had went. Did I get through to her about how I was sorry? Did she understand that even though I shouldn’t have gotten so upset, it was important that she listen to my instructions? I don’t want my child to be afraid of me, and I definitely don’t want to be a yelling parent. But I still want to get through to her how sometimes we can’t do the things we want to. It’s a fine line for me to walk.

I’ve been a mom for nearly five years now, and I’m still learning every day. I’m not a perfect parent in the least, but I want to try my absolute best to create a happy environment for my children to grow up in. To be a peaceful parent, I’ve decided I need to do five things:

  • Take deep, calming breaths. Often.
  • Remind myself constantly that Tatum is only a small child, and is not “bad.” She is simply acting her age.
  • Stick to a daily rhythm to ensure our routine goes smoothly (this is not always possible but for the most part it makes things a lot easier).
  • Spend time connecting with my child. When I can talk with her, listen to her and be present with her, I can learn more about her and what works best for her as far as parenting goes.
  • Take time for myself. Some days I feel like between Tatum, my husband, work, other family members, and life in general, I’m being pulled in several different directions. It’s just how life is. I need to make sure at some point I have at least half an hour completely to myself. I can notice a big difference in how I react to my family when I haven’t had some time to sit quietly on my own.

Learning to use other methods of parenting rather than time-outs, spanking etc. has been a long learning process for David and I, but we feel that it is so important to address what the child’s needs truly are rather than using typical parenting methods of discipline. I’m learning it’s best to be forgiving of yourself, to apologize when necessary, and mostly to try to relax.

What has been the toughest part for you when it comes to disciplining your child? What do you find to be most effective?

{Franki}

10 Ways To Get Ready For Spring

18 Mar

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When spring comes around, I literally sigh with relief. Canadian winters can seem (correction, ARE) very, very long, and when you go that long without any real amount of sunlight or fresh air, it can start to wear on you. Around the end of February/beginning of March, I cannot stop thinking about how much I’m ready for spring and the general happiness it brings with it. I live for the days that I can wake up and open up the windows and let some fresh air and sunlight in, or go outside without having to put on boots, coats, gloves, hats, scarves, and any other accessories that winter forces us to layer on our bodies each day.

While we still have a lot of snow on the ground and the sun decides to poke through only once or twice during the day, I’m already doing things around the house to lift my spirits and get myself ready for spring’s arrival. Here are ten fun ways to prepare for spring with your family!

1. Start growing your seedlings indoors This is my number one favourite way to signal that spring is coming. Each year Tatum, David and I plan out what we’re going to grow in our container garden and we have a day where we all plant the seeds together. The entire process of growing seedlings and watching them turn into plants and eventually fruit, vegetables or herbs is one of the best ways to get your children involved in eating well, as well as helping them connect more to real food. If your child is old enough, you can also assign them the chore of watering/fertilizing the plant, and watch their pride as their plants flourish.

2. Get a head start on spring cleaning. - I LOVE opening the windows and giving my house a good clean when spring rolls around. Not only do I feel better about my home, but my mind feels a lot calmer and clearer when I know that I don’t have closets that are bursting with random items, or kitchen cupboards with unorganized pyrex bowls and lids strewn about. I assign myself a task to do each day by writing it on my calendar, and by the end of the month I have usually gotten around to every corner of the house. It doesn’t have to be done in a weekend! Having a clean, fresh house around spring is always a great pick-me-up after a long winter.

3. Pull out the warmer weather clothing! - By the end of March I am extremely tired of looking at bulky coats, hats, mittens, gloves, boots, and all of the other winter gear that we have been bundling up in for months on end. I like to organize my drawers and closets and our coat closet for spring and get all of our warmer weather wardrobe items ready to go. Get out yours and your little ones’ rain jackets, rain boots, umbrellas etc. and have them ready to go once you’re able to enjoy a warmer day.

4. Enjoy some sunshine with your kids. - Even though the weather may not be favorable, especially if you’re living where I’m living, it’s a great feeling to get outside for a few minutes each day to soak up some sunshine and some fresh air. Winter time can mean being cooped up indoors for days at a time, and you can begin to feel pretty stagnant and fatigued. Get outside, even for a few minutes, and take a brisk walk around the block, splash in a puddle (or a pile of snow if you still have them!), and enjoy some fresh air.

5. Do some spring crafts. - One of our favourite ways to cheer up our home for spring is doing some spring crafts together. Our kitchen window is our craft area where we display all of the crafts we’ve been doing, and I love the way it looks when it’s full of Tatum’s artwork and seasonal crafts we’ve been doing together. Last year I did a round-up of my favourite easy spring crafts to do with your little ones, and we’ll definitely be doing them again along with some new ones!

6. Clean your car inside & out. - I know after the winter time, our vehicle is looking pretty sad. The carpets are wet and dirty from snowy and mucky boots, I usually have napkins, papers and other random items stashed in various places, and the outside is less than sparkling. Giving our car a good clean inside and outside and freshening it up is a nice way to signal that spring is coming. If it’s an exceptionally warm day, you can get your family outside and wash the car together!

7. Decorate your front door/entryway with a cheery spring wreath. - For the past two weeks I’ve had my yellow spring wreath on my door in anticipation of warm weather and to perk up our entryway. I also pulled out our spring flower welcome mat and Tatum’s basket of outdoor toys that stays by the door. Doing little things like that gets me in a spring state of mind and can help freshen up your home after a long winter.

8. Give your make-up a warm-weather makeover. - In the winter I stick to heavier moisturizers, matte skin and darker shadow/lipsticks. I like freshening up my look in the spring time. Bright lip colours, dewy skin and bronzer (LOVE bronzer) are my go-tos for a fresh face in the spring and summer months. I’ll be doing a post soon about my favourite organic make-up picks, so keep an eye out for that!

9. Add some spring flowers or plants to your home. - Nothing can brighten my spirits more than colourful spring flowers or plants on my kitchen table. Putting a few vases of flowers or plants throughout the house can make a huge difference in how I feel and can cheer up a drab day.

10. Do some cooking/baking with seasonal fruits! - Spring marks a new round-up of in-season produce. Strawberries, rhubarb, cherries, peas, spinach and apricots are just a few of the delicious fruits and vegetables you can find at your grocery store that are in-season for spring. Bake a strawberry rhubarb pie, chop up a strawberry and spinach salad, or have baked apricots and yogurt for a healthy and sweet dessert. Incorporating what’s in season in my kitchen is a healthy, budget-friendly and fun way to celebrate the season.

What are your favourite ways to welcome spring into your home?

{Franki}

Why I’m Scared About Adding Another Child To Our Family

7 Mar
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Pretty soon this family of three will be a family of four! And I’m kind of terrified.

David and I have planned, planned and planned some more for this baby. Both of us have immersed ourselves in my VBAC preparations and what we want to do differently this time around now that we’ve experienced the newborn & baby stage before. I feel confident in my birth and baby plans. But while we are preparing for these short-term things, my mind constantly wanders to things I can’t easily control. As I’ve probably expressed in my past posts, I like to be organized and in control at all times, and get kind of freaked out when I’m not able to plan our schedules and lives exactly how I would like them to happen. I have become more laid back in the last year, especially with realizing how unpredictable children and life in general are, but there is still that part of me that likes to plan and know how everything will play out.

We are so excited to be having another sweet baby. Even though a lot of my memories of Tatum as a newborn are foggy, I loved the newborn/baby and younger toddler stage. But going from no children to one, and from one child to two are looking to be completely different. Not only are we adjusting our lives for having a second child, but Tatum will be adjusting to having a sibling after it has been only her for almost five years. I’ve become a worry wart as far as this goes — Should I be careful to not talk about the baby too much? How will she adjust? How can I be sure to include her as best I can? I don’t want her to feel left out, how can I make sure this transition is as easy as possible for her? How can we balance alone time with both children? What about my marriage? How will two children change our relationship? What do I do!?

It’s been the three of us for so long. We are our own little family unit. Mom, Dad and Tatum. It’s like we’re accepting this little newbie into our close-knit family, and I’m afraid of how it’s all going to go. Is that wrong to feel? That I’m afraid of how I will balance my love for these little people? How our newest little one will fit in? We are so set in our routines, and surely once our new baby has arrived all of that will go out the window. I’m afraid of that, because it’s been five years of just us three, and it will be like starting all over again.

Each day I try to tell myself to take it one day at a time, and go from there. I can do everything in my power to prepare my body for birth, my home for a baby and our bank account for the expenses. But once our little one is here, I am only going to be able to go day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute. I have to remember I’m not supermom, I’m not going to be able to make it an easy transition for all of us all of the time, as much as I want to. We will just have to adapt as best we can, and hope for the best.

In the meantime, I am going to go eat Nutella out of the jar and stop worrying for a few minutes.

How did you and your family adjust to having another child? Why was it an easy/difficult transition for you?

{Franki}

Overscheduled Children: How Much Is Too Much?

4 Mar

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Not long after I had Tatum, I was under the impression that the more activities for her, the better it would be for her development. At a mere six months old, we were doing baby swim classes, mommy & me dance classes, library story time and having playdates with other baby friends. Every week we had something to attend. I thought it would help her develop socially (not sure why I was worried about that at six months of age) and mentally. This continued on into Tatum’s toddlerhood when I made sure to sign her up for every library program, YMCA activity, and museum outing as possible. I was positive that I was doing a great service for her — she was being exposed to many different environments, different people, and absorbing all of the wonderful information that was being thrown at her. Surely I was doing more for her this way than staying cooped up at home without access to all of these programs.

But soon I realized that Tatum and I were beginning to burn out. I was miserable, she was miserable. I could see that Tatum was feeling rushed and didn’t have as much time to play freely as a child needed to. Even David mentioned that it seemed that Tatum and I were always on our way out the door to go do some sort of activity. It was beginning to get overwhelming for everyone, and I realized that for not only Tatum’s sanity but my sanity as well that I needed to cut down on how many activities we were doing outside of the home.

Children need to be able to play freely at home, and often. This has been found to be essential to their growth and development. In a great article from The Doctor Will See You Now, it is said that free play “gives children a chance to find and develop a connection to their own self-identified and self-guided interests.” Parents these days are made to feel that the more activities the better — organized sports, art lessons, toddler story time — and that they are essential for us to include in our children’s lives. But we need to let our kids BE. I realized this when Tatum didn’t seem excited to go to her activities anymore, and would act out. Once I started making our home the base of our family fun, she relaxed and when we did attend an activity, she would embrace it rather than dread it.

Over the past few years I’ve been reading a lot about incorporating Waldorf teachings into our home, and it seems right on point with what I feel is necessary for our little ones: make home your family’s foundation rather than just a place to sleep and eat. We have made more of our days about enjoying our time at home together instead of rushing around from place to place, barely having time to breathe let alone connect with one another. Life has been more enjoyable, and we have experienced a lot more bonding as a family.

It took a little while of constantly on-the-go days to realize that I wasn’t helping Tatum learn more or socialize better. She (WE!) need time at home without feeling rushed to truly enjoy each other and for her to blossom into the person she is meant to be. It’s not that I don’t think these programs and activities are a wonderful tool for parents — they are — but there is a time and a place for them and we can incorporate them into our schedule accordingly. It’s not necessary for us to be rushing to a program each day. Our lives are overscheduled as it is, and we don’t need our young ones to feel that pressure already.

Here’s a few more of my favourite articles about cutting down structured activities for children and the benefits of allowing them to play freely:

Free Unstructured Play Is Essential For Children

Work and Play: Eight Facets Of A Healthy Family Culture

Are You Enriching Or Overscheduling Your Child?

10 Signs Your Kids Are Overscheduled

Where do you stand? Do you feel “the more the better” as far as children’s activities go? Or do you stick to one (or none)?

{Franki}

Indoor Activities for Toddlers/Preschoolers

11 Jan
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We love snow days! Especially if we can get outside ;)

Yesterday in the evening, we had a snowfall warning, and today we are in winter storm warning mode. The school phoned and let us know that it’s a snow day today (do you remember hearing those words as a kid? Best feeling ever!) so it looks like we are stuck at home for the majority of the day.

On days like today, I normally feel a bit of panic, because when cooped up for too long, my child can become restless, grouchy and very whiny — things like “What can we do nowwwwwww?” will be asked several times. The same old activities get boring. So I like to have some fun things to do on days like today when it’s really not an option to go out and burn off some preschool energy. Here’s a couple of ideas to keep your kids busy on snow days!

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Tatum experimenting with cornstarch and water (or as she calls it, “homemade goo”

Have some fun in the kitchen.

One of the best ways to pass some time is to bake with your kids, but there are a lot of other things you can do in the kitchen to keep them busy. Fill up the sink with bubbles and let them stand on a chair/stool and play or “wash” dishes, mix cornstarch and water together and see what happens (Tatum calls it homemade goo), make some DIY fingerpaint, try your hand at homemade play dough. There are a lot of easy activities you can do in the kitchen with your kids that require minimal ingredients/materials!

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Tatum got creative with paint!

Get your craft on!

When in doubt, pull out your craft supplies. When I’ve run out of ideas or just plain can’t think of anything interesting to do, I let Tatum go to town with her art supplies. If you’re feeling ambitious, you could get a head start on Valentine’s Day crafts, make some paper snowflakes, let your child free paint with paints or draw to their hearts content. A big hit for me is pulling out a bunch of random supplies (cotton balls, pom poms, googly eyes, sparkles, stickers, etc.) and letting Tatum make a collage of different materials. We usually kill an hour or so doing crafts each day, so if you’re desperate to end the “I’m BORREEDDD” comments, grab your paints and let them go to town!

Have a treasure hunt/scavenger hunt.

Treasure hunts or scavenger hunts are a perfect way to keep kids entertained…as long as you don’t mind them ransacking your house. Putting together a series of clues to find a prize can be so exciting for little ones, and depending on their age level, you can make the clues as challenging as you like to keep their brains working. A scavenger hunt is another great way to keep them busy and keep their imaginations going. Here’s some cool tips to create fun treasure hunts and scavenger hunts:

How to Make an Amazing Treasure Hunt for Kids

Scavenger Hunt For Kids Idea Central

Scavenger Hunt Ideas For Kids

Treasure Hunt Ideas For Kids

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Have them help with household chores.

I know this sounds a bit crazy..but some kids are still in the stage where they find helping their moms or dads around the house fun! Luckily Tatum still enjoys it so I will be soaking up this stage for as long as possible. Getting your kids to help you with chores around the house is a great way to show them that keeping the house tidy, neat and functional is a family effort. For a long time now I have taught Tatum that we all work together to create a nice home environment, and so far the lesson seems to be getting through. There are a ton of little jobs they can help with: folding cloths, sweeping floors, helping to wash walls/floors, help with meal prep, wipe windows…the list goes on. I’m always a happy mama when Tatum decides to help me clean because she’s helping me to keep it tidy rather than destroying it!

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Kids can come up with the best games when left to their own devices. Tatum made a “car” and her two puppets were going on a picnic.

Let them be bored.

This is something new to me. Before, I would feel like I should be entertaining Tatum at all times of the day with crafts, puppet shows, songs, etc. But then I slowly realized I was doing myself and her a disservice as she seemed to have trouble keeping herself occupied when I didn’t have an activity planned. When I was growing up, my mom played with us, but I also remember a lot of me whining “I’m borreeedddd” and my mom saying “Go find something to do!” I think it’s important for our kids to be able to get their imaginations going on their own without influence from their parents, T.V. or anything else besides themselves. I tried this out the other day, and after a few grunts and groans about being bored and wanting me to find something for her to do, she went off and played with her toys and amused herself for a while. Sometimes the best play is created out of being utterly, completely bored, and I think kids really need to learn how to do that.

What are your favourite ways to keep your kids occupied on snow/indoor days? 

{Franki}

And Baby Makes Four

21 Dec

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For the past six months, David and I have been meticulously planning, debating, and weighing the pros and cons of adding a second child to our family. Because Tatum was a surprise (a wonderful one at that), we wanted to make sure that this time we were fully prepared. Well, as fully prepared as we could be! I have been wanting to have another baby since Tatum was about 2 1/2, but we felt that it was best for us to wait a little while. We weren’t quite ready to become a family of four, and there was a lot of change happening in our lives — I picked up more work, David was promoted at his job, and Tatum would be starting school.

At the end of August we decided that we were ready to expand our family and add a second child to the mix, and by mid October, we were happy to discover that we were expecting our second child! Yes, the Arnold Family is growing! I have been bursting to tell the world, but felt it was best to wait until the 12 week mark. My closest friends and family have known all along, but it feels great to be able to freely tell everyone.

The estimated due date of baby #2 is July 5th, and I will be trying as hard as I possibly can to have a successful VBAC. I had a cesarean with Tatum, and feel that it was something that could have been avoided, so I am hoping to have the birth that I dream of with this little one. Over the next few months I’ll be blogging about pregnancy the second time around (no morning sickness this time! Bonus! More ligament stretching though — not fun!), my journey to accomplishing my much sought-after VBAC, and eventually the addition of a second child to the family and the impact it makes on everyone. I can’t wait to see how everything unfolds, and hope to hear some great advice from all of you mothers of two children!

I am so grateful for David, who has always been supportive of my decisions and involved in my pregnancies from the get-go, and I was so thrilled to see how excited Tatum was when we told her. She’s still trying to figure out how exactly it works though — when we told her there was a baby growing in mommy’s tummy, she said “Can I see in your mouth!?” She was fairly certain if she looked down my throat, she could see baby in there. I thought that was pretty logical for a 4 1/2 year old ;)

I can’t wait to share this journey with all of you and hope that I can connect and learn from other mothers who have gone down this road. Here’s to a happy and healthy pregnancy for me, and for all of the other expectant mamas out there!

{Franki}

Connecticut Elementary School Shooting: Our Thoughts Are With the Parents & Families Of the Victims

14 Dec

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I was working on a post about my favourite items to bake for Christmas and a post on discipline techniques to post for today and for next week — and it now seems so very insignificant in comparison to today’s horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

Both Stephanie and I cannot imagine the horrible grief that the parents and families of the 20 children and six adults who were killed today during what has been called one of the worst school shootings in the United States’ history. So many parents flocked to the school in complete terror and shock, praying that their child would emerge unharmed. Unfortunately, 20 sets of parents are coping with unimaginable pain and grief as they mourn the loss of their children to such an insensible act. The families of the six adults who lost their lives protecting children are also dealing with immense hurt and pain as they grieve over their loved ones.

Tonight, while you are safe in your home with your children, do not worry that their rooms are not completely tidied up. Do not focus on how they’re being silly at the dinner table, or splashing too much water on the floor while they are in the bathtub. Focus on your time with your child right now — focus on their smiles, their laughter, their desire to spend each moment with you. Be thankful for these special little people in your lives. Appreciate them. Hug them tightly. Tell them you love them. Snuggle with them. Read more books than you usually do at bedtime. Take the time to soak in every moment with them. There are grieving parents tonight in Connecticut who are not able to do the same, and are wishing that they could be. Keep those parents and families in your thoughts, prayers and hearts.

I read a great quote of Mister Rogers from the Facebook page of The Skeptical Mother that I thought was something we all need to remember at times like this:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.” – Mister Rogers

We are thinking of all of those involved in this awful crime today.

Here are some resources for talking with your children about shootings or disasters and helping them (and yourself) to understand grief:

How To Talk with Kids about a School Shooting – Aha Parenting

How To Talk to Your Child About the Scary Stuff They See and Hear – Canadian Family

8 Tips for Understanding Grief and Rediscovering Gratitude in Times of Loss - MindBodyGreen

How to Talk to Your Kids about the School Shootings - NBC News Children’s Health

{Franki and Steph}

How Do You Balance Motherhood and Work (Or Life In General)?

28 Sep

As you can see, we’ve been on a bit of a hiatus over the last little while. This last little while has brought forth many new changes for our family, such as Tatum starting school and her extracurriculars, me adding more work to my schedule, and of course all of the other little things life throws at you. Stephanie has started school again, and going to school full-time while being a single mother isn’t exactly a cake walk either! With all of this going on, and trying to find inspiration and to blog (and trying to squeeze it in to our schedules somewhere) we’re left feeling a little overwhelmed.  We’ve both been struggling to organize our lives so we can accomplish everything that needs to be done (or that we want to be done) without feeling like we’re in over our heads. Does that sound familiar to you? I’m sure most moms have been there a time or two.

So, moms, I’m asking all of you today how you balance your lives. How do you get things done? More importantly, how do you get them done so you feel as though you’ve been an involved parent at the same time? Do you have a strict schedule you follow? What are your organizational secrets? Tell us, tell us, tell us! I know there are plenty of moms out there besides us who want to be able to balance their lives so that they don’t always feel as though they’re barely keeping their heads above water.  Depending on how much response we get, we will do a recap post and include some of our readers’ tips for balancing it all.

Share with us: what are your best secrets to staying sane while balancing motherhood as well as work, or life in general?

{Franki and Steph}

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